Lee Pai Pai is a Hooker Who Fucks For Free

Free hookers—that’s my new life philosophy…my new motto. Fuck throwing the 300 bucks at some back alley whore for a good time…not when so many girls equally broken and less disgusting than hookers are down to do it for free. Free hookers…it’s a way of life.

Liza and Lola in Vagina Fisting Bonanza

So I got this new approach with girls. I figure if they don’t want to fuck me, I’ll invite them to places that will make them so horny, so drunk, so disoriented that they will have no choice but to fuck me. I’m not a creep though and don’t want to mislead, so my pitch is, “want to go to the strippers then let me fist you?”

So far every girl says no, but I like to think it’s because they aren’t the ones for me…and not because I have the wrong strategy…not to mention no girl likes to admit she can get fisted, even though every girl is capable of being fisted.

That line will work on Miss Right, I’m convinced…

Wakako Hujimori is One Sweaty, Shiny, Oily Japayuki

I don’t even know who this Wakako Hujimori is, but I know that I like her. I’ve never heard of her before and neither has the Internet. But it doesn’t matter because all I know is right now, at this moment, she’s my number one Japanese babe of all time. Then again, I have attention deficit disorder and will forget she exists in another minute. Who is this again?

Beth Humphreys Inspirational Titties

Beth Humphreys is a success story like all other success stories. From my extensive three minutes of research, I found out she was some busty low-level amateur model, similar to the girls you’d find on Instagram or Model Mayhem, who was willing to show her tits for local photographers to just build up a portfolio in hopes of never having to wait tables again.

Then…opportunity struck! The agency that represents all the big titty UK models signed her up…meaning low-level, free topless shoots are now behind her…and now she’s the future! She is the new breed of Glamour Model! More importantly, she is the new titties for English soccer stars to get pregnant…and the new titties for mechanics to jerk off to.

Remember girls: it all came to her because she was willing to show her stupidly big tits…despite the fact that her nipples are so invisible that she had to pierce them for people to find them.

Vietnamese Slut Anh Nguyen and Her Perfect Titties for Playboy

A day is not complete without massive nude model tits to stare at—that’s my philosophy, anyway. As far as I’m concerned, it makes total sense. It brightens days and changes lives.

The world would be a happier place if titties were everywhere…from newspapers to billboards…from your drive to work to your walk to the donut shop…shit just has a calming affect and makes our angry, miserable lives seem not so bad.