Kim Kardashian Before She Got Pregnant and Became a Monster

As far as I’m concerned, Kim Kardashian was a monster before there was a demon growing inside her. So it was only expected that as this little troll sent from Satan grew, her already disgusting body would get progressively worse.

She wouldn’t be able to use the straps and harnesses and is probably happy she is finally able to let her gut out…not to mention, it gives her another season and another storyline for her garbage TV show that will make her another one hundred million dollars…because for some reason, the idiot public cares about Armenian gutter trash.

Kim Kardashian is Naked Because What Else is The Bitch Good For?

Kim Kardashian was a fat chick who carried her fat in her ass and tits…like she belonged in some African tribe…and not just because she loved getting fucked by black guys so much she put out the video…but because that’s just how she was fucking built.

It was an ass that was already a novelty…or a comedy act, like the clown car of asses…but now that she’s pregnant, that awkward ass that looks like she was wearing a diaper in her pants has now become that awkward ass that looks like she was wearing five diaper in her pants…that are all full of shit…and for all we know, she is.

The fact that she’s reproducing is a fucking tragedy…but the fact that we’ve allowed her to get this famous, all because of a rich dad and a sex tape, is a bigger fucking tragedy. She’s the worst and now, so is her obesity…explained by pregnancy, unfortunately.

Jacklyn and Friend in Asian Lesbian Poolside Sex

I hate lesbians because lesbians hate me…but for some reason I ended up at a lesbian bar last night, where I tried integrating with their kind, although confused by their boy-like facial hair and combat boots. But they didn’t like my lesbian jokes that I guess aren’t lesbian friendly…which makes sense since I am not lesbian friendly. I even came bearing gifts in the form of lovely, sexy, 20-year-old models…but I guess my exposed penis threw them off.

Why can’t we all just get along?

Sara Jean Underwood is Back To Doing Smut

It’s nice to see things coming full circle with this Sara Jean Underwood bitch. It’s a “history repeats itself” situation…where she “pretend dated” homo American Idol host Ryan Seacrest…then got cocky, thinking “shit, I don’t have to do naked shoots for Playboy anymore, I can go mainstream.” So she got a gig on TV. She left nudity behind her…even though that’s all that people wanted from her and the only reason she was on the show…and then the show got cancelled and now she’s posing for shit like this.

So remember, girls: SMUT ALWAYS WINS.

Vietnamese Slut Anh Nguyen and Her Perfect Titties for Playboy

A day is not complete without massive nude model tits to stare at—that’s my philosophy, anyway. As far as I’m concerned, it makes total sense. It brightens days and changes lives.

The world would be a happier place if titties were everywhere…from newspapers to billboards…from your drive to work to your walk to the donut shop…shit just has a calming affect and makes our angry, miserable lives seem not so bad.