Elisha Cuthbert has a new TV show that I have never seen and didn’t know she even had. I just assumed she died, because I haven’t heard or seen shit about her in the last four years…and the last time I did hear about her, she was some fat, coked-up, gutter-looking pig who didn’t really shower and who I assumed had given up. Being Paris Hilton’s best friend does that to a person.
She reminds me of every girl I’ve ever picked up after a night out…only a bit better dressed…a little less scabby…a lot less covered in puke…and a lot more alert. Bitch is the Hollywood version of a good old “drag her down the alley for your first date” good time.
All this to say, Elisha Cuthbert, a girl I was trying to stage a candle light vigil for her career at her parent’s house in flash mob awesome viral video form, is back on doing the whole “Girl Next Door” hotness routine. So remember boys and girls, spending half your 20s being a cokewhore doesn’t always ruin you…and this is the proof…
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